Before reading below, imagine a partially-robotic female narration that sounds eerily like the voice of Orson Welles:
It’s the year 2117. Humans have discovered that they are no longer alone in the universe. This revelation unifies humanity in a way that has never been achieved before. While out-of-this-world contact was limited and conducted over thousands of hours and hundreds of light years through the principals of mathematical binary coding, Earth has finally made contact! Humanity has been introduced to its new neighbour – and a most evolved species, at that. They are called the “Wai-Kouk-Gan” and they are equally happy to make contact with us.
Solar-Sail quantum physic principals still to be worked-out; our neighbours may even visit us someday. As an elder civilization among the stars they are a species of peace. Their only warning is to heed the mistakes they made with their own ‘soft blue planet’: Share and protect your natural resources at all costs. Needless to say, this heroic advice along with the actual discovery of the “Wai-Kouk-Gan” has brought with it an abundance of changes to the way humans have restructured their economies…
The Career Foundation, in keeping with being a forward-thinking Employment Ontario Service Provider, is pleased to present the following employment opportunities and labour market information from the next century! These excerpts are from The Burlington Post “Classifieds Level Four Augment,” originally uploaded on December 20, 2117.
The Following Positions Have Multiple Vacancies
Required for Both Terra Firma and Exoplanet Duties
- Oceanographers – Duties include but are never limited to: coral rehydration and cross-flora networking with iridium DNA processing; plastics collection and recycling; fauna documentation analysis; and rehabilitation project proposal writing. A strong knowledge of binary processing and audiometry will be an asset.
- Farmers – Plant and Soy specialists with additional training in Bio-Engineering and Nano-Soil regenerative properties experience an asset, as is the ability to speak another language. Current fields are tractable and based on multi-level platforms. As such, a Working at Heights Safety Certification Level 3 will be required.
- Linguists – Linguists will be required at every level of the ongoing Environmental Rehabilitation Initiative (ERI). However, this cannot be their only discipline. A linguistics background must also be complemented with certification in one of the following disciplines: Physics, Bio-Engineering, Mechanical-Engineering, Nano-Interface, and Zoology. Preference will be given to those candidates who also specialize in and/or have worked in online energy transference. A strong knowledge of binary processing and audiometry will be an asset.
- Variant Atmospheric Specialists – Job description is considered classified information. Formal security clearance will be required for access. Only qualified specialists with 5+ years of experience may inquire within.
- Waste and Recycling Processors – Please note that these positions are available in both Standard (university degree) and Advanced (MA + Charter Certificate) Standings for the available entry-level positions.
- Actors and Performers – Actors required for roles to be shot locally for the upcoming three-part film production of Lucasfilm’s reimagining of The Sound of Music. Applicants should include in their Augment Cover Video which of the following roles they are auditioning for: Captain Von Trapp, Maria Von Trapp, Liesel Von Trapp, Kurt Von Trapp, Gretl Von Trapp, Sister Margaretta, Herr Zeller, Rolfe (in all 5 incarnations), and Hannibal Lecter.
Except for listing #6, those in possession of a Level One Pilot Licence currently in Good Standing with the Terran Aerospace Defence and Rescue Command (TADRC) will be given application priority and are advised to note this in their Augment Cover Video. The Hiring Process will begin in the New Year. Wishing you and your loved ones a bright and burnished Solstice.
It may be well advised to not only consider what your career is, but what it will need to become.
FYI: in the future, electricity will be shared and naturally harvested; passed from dwelling to business to public infrastructure via the cables that are currently used to power the Internet. This will be called online energy transference. Just know that.
Jason Douglas Smith is a Training Application Coordinator with The Career Foundation, and has successfully directed clients in not only developing personalized job search strategy plans, but in circumnavigating the rigorous demands of applications for provincially-funded retraining. When not working, this self-professed Futurist can often be found reading, writing and barbecuing in his native Burlington.